How to take care of yourself emotionally if you are going through fertility treatment
When individuals or couples wish to have children and encounter fertility problems or personal circumstances that hinder procreation, they experience a profound loss, a devastating blow that can disrupt their emotional well-being. Núria Camps i Bellonch, a clinical psychologist and director of the Clinical Psychology Service at the Puigvert Foundation, explains in this article the importance of taking care of your mental health while undergoing difficult treatment.
The difficulty in conceiving when one desires to have children confronts the strength to realize the parental project and the fear of thinking about a life without children, generating very intense experiences that vary between each person and that range from the greatest irritation and fury at not conceiving to the deepest sorrow for the pregnancy that has not yet arrived.
Medical treatment, an emotional storm
Assisted reproductive technologies (ART) are a great alternative for conceiving; however, we know that women and their partners, when they enter fertility programs, experience intense emotions that run the whole range of feelings from the excitement of pregnancy to the fear that this desire will not come true.
Women's emotional state during the process of trying to conceive and during pregnancy is more vulnerable than at other stages of life, and medically assisted reproduction adds even more emotional strain. Often, this heightened emotional state makes it even more difficult to cope with the anxieties of waiting for results during each cycle of medical treatment until pregnancy is achieved.
All these experiences are reactions that are part of the process of becoming mothers with medical assistance, and it is perfectly understandable that they occur in most women. However, on many occasions, when emotions become overwhelming, women, for fear of not being understood or because they think that the concerns raised by becoming mothers will be minimized as less important than other aspects of daily life, seek solace, retreat into silence, and do not share their feelings.
In these circumstances, it would be ideal for women to receive emotional support and reassurance, but their immediate environment doesn't always offer adequate understanding and support, whether in the family, social, or work spheres. Sometimes, this can even lead to conflict within the couple, which can intensify when the woman's body becomes involved in fertility treatments.
What can facilitate the path to motherhood?
Society creates powerful stereotypes that lead women to believe certain unfounded ideas, such as the notion that there is only one way to become a mother. These statements are simply beliefs that have no bearing on each woman's reality, but often, when things don't go according to societal norms, women suffer because they don't feel they fit within those norms.
Sometimes, women believe that if pregnancy doesn't occur, it's because they aren't doing things right, which leads to guilt and low self-esteem. Sometimes, they might think they've delayed the decision and blame themselves for not planning according to the established timeline. However, the reality is that there are as many paths to motherhood as there are women, and no single path is inherently better than another.
Each woman finds her own way of managing the arrival of motherhood and this path is unique and singular for each case, keeping in mind that all these ways, although different, will be appropriate if they allow for a good adaptation to each particular situation.
How can we address our worries when all we want to talk about is the desire to have a baby?
Accepting that children don't always arrive when we want them, but when we are emotionally available to receive them, is the hardest task of all, but it's the one that provides the greatest satisfaction and benefits parenting..
- Getting rid of stereotypes and to value the particular path taken to achieve motherhood.
- Managing negative emotions generated by the pain of frustration due to lack of fertility.
- Accepting restlessness as natural generated by new things in life such as pregnancy.
- Relieve the pressure of wanting to have the baby. at the desired time and manage anxiety while waiting for pregnancy and birth.
- Communicating emotions, Recognizing their value, without fear or shame, because they all have their reason for being.
Try to make yourself understood, never assuming that others can to understand our moods as if they could read our minds.
How can we regulate the intensity of our emotions during this process without freezing our emotional life? How can we strengthen coping strategies to manage discomfort and suffering?
Maintain the confidence and excitement about pregnancy aided by the establishing healthy habits of life throughout the fertilization process.
a) Acceptance of the situation.
b) Determine small short-term goals.
c) Have daily routines (these may include relaxation and/or meditation).
d) Not admitting "I can't take it anymore" in life purposes that go beyond procreation.
e) Mentalize the idea of something new to do soon.
f) To have mental flexibility to be able to change opinions about the things that surround us.
The emotional health of the mother, the parental couple, and the extended family is a factor essential for welcoming and raising the baby.
Article reviewed by Carlos Dosouto
