How to cope with new motherhood? 11 tips that will help you
When a baby is born, a mother is born too. Motherhood transforms a woman, both physically and psychologically. Significant changes also occur in relationships, including relationships with her partner, family, friends, and colleagues. These changes can overwhelm many mothers, especially first-time mothers. Family and social support, along with good organization, are essential for navigating this life-changing transition. Psychologist Anaïs Barcelona explains.
First of all, Motherhood is full of pressures and prejudices from family, professionals, and society in general.. To avoid falling into doubt and insecurity, gather as much information as you can, but when you have to make a decision, be guided by what you (and your partner) you think and feel. Common sense, instinct, and love for your child will surely lead you down the right path. Reflect on the values that are important to you as a mother, not on the kind of mother you "should be." There are no better or worse mothers, simply "good enough" mothers, as the psychologist and pediatrician postulated. Winicott.
1. Don't idealize motherhood. Becoming a mother is usually very rewarding for most women. Motherhood involves a life crisis; it has tough and lonely moments. The postpartum period is difficult for most women. The experience of childbirth is compounded by the abrupt hormonal changes of the postpartum period, the start of breastfeeding, bonding with your baby, sleepless nights, and more. In these first few weeks, you'll need help to recover physically, feel emotionally supported, and also some household assistance. The baby's first few months are often the hardest and most intense because breastfeeding is being established, awakenings are frequent, and colic is common. Everything will gradually improve.
2. Keep guilt away. Guilt and motherhood go hand in hand. Guilt is a feeling many mothers experience, especially first-time mothers. Guilt can arise when breastfeeding isn't possible, when the mother has to be separated from the baby, when the baby cries, and so on. Try to to replace this feeling with responsibility and the search for solutions to problems.
3. Surround yourself with your tribe. Besides your partner, family, and friends, mothers' groups are very positive. Motherhood can be lonely at times, so meeting with other mothers who are going through the same thing as you will be very beneficial.
4. Take care of yourself. The arrival of your baby will mean you'll have very little time for yourself. In the first few weeks, you might even struggle to find time to shower or eat. Make sure to set aside some time each day to dedicate exclusively to caring for your body and mind.
5. Delegate and ask for help. The arrival of a baby requires a lot of time, both physically and mentally. Prioritize important tasks and don't be too demanding about keeping your house tidy. Good organization will be essential for managing daily chores. Ask your partner, friends, and family for help when you need it.
6. Don't put pressure on yourself to get your body back to how it was before quickly. Your body has undergone many physical changes that can last up to a year after childbirth. With exercise and a balanced diet, you will gradually regain your figure.
7. Plan your return to work. This is one of the things that worries mothers the most. In Spain, mothers and fathers have 16 weeks of leave after childbirth, a completely insufficient amount of time to care for the baby. Think about how you're going to organize your return to work, taking into account the support available to you.
8. Don't compare yourself to other mothers. Every experience with motherhood is unique. To approach motherhood in a healthy way, it's best to forget about what others are doing and avoid comparing yourself to them.
9. Take care of your mental health. We know that the postpartum period is a vulnerable time for a woman's mental health. For this reason, some women may feel sad or experience excessive anxiety. Normalizing how you feel without judgment, talking about your feelings, and seeking psychological help will be essential when you feel overwhelmed.
10. Rest as much as you can. Getting restful sleep is crucial for your health. Although it's often difficult to sleep while the baby sleeps because of all the tasks you have to do, take advantage of every opportunity to rest and sleep whenever you can.
11. Don't put pressure on yourself about breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is a personal choice for each mother, and a mother who cannot or does not want to choose this option is not a worse mother. Breastfeeding has enormous health benefits and strengthens the bond between mother and baby. In most cases, breastfeeding is well established after the first few weeks. However, in some cases, issues such as cracked nipples, mastitis, or maternal illness can make breastfeeding difficult and painful. Ask your midwife or lactation consultant for help checking the latch and positioning while breastfeeding so they can assist you. If, despite your efforts, things don't improve, don't blame yourself. You're going to be a wonderful mother.
